Faith, have faith.

"I think we keep living with faith because we need it. Even atheists believe in something - in something else. Yet, I didn't want to make a movie about faith, really, but a reflection on what goes on inside us. Cinema is a great tool, a way to talk about the invisible through the visible." - Lee Chang Dong

Secret Sunshine by Lee Chang Dong (2007) chronicles a lady, Shin-ae, dealing with grief, anguish and her doubt of faith, the role being performed by one of my favourite Korean actress, Jeon Do-yeon. Life seems to be peaceful for Shin-ae after she moves to the town Miryang, but the kidnap and murder of her son plummeted her into depths of despair, agony, and even madness. To overcome her grief, she decides to pay a visit to the kidnapper with the intention to forgive him under the grace of God, yet feelings of betrayal overcame her when the kidnapper told her that God had already forgiven him.

Shin-ae portrays a typical journey through the stages of grief: Denial (she stepped out of sorrow fast and jumped right into religion, thinking that she is able to forgive the murderer), Anger (her rage when she found out that the murderer has already forgiven himself in the name of God), Bargaining (her acts of “defying” God and questioning God of His purpose), Depression (her outburst of sorrows and inflicting harm on herself) and Acceptance (she bursting into laughter when her friend pointed out her half-done haircut and then she trimming her locks herself).

I had always liked watching Jeon Do-yeon’s performances she is able to convey plenty of emotions with such powerful punches, despite her frail frame and unassuming appearance. The way she battled with grief and wavered among the confusion of feelings in Secret Sunshine was captivating, I felt like the Jongchan (her admirer who is always tagging behind her) as I seemed to be following her as she goes through the rides of her emotions.

Being a free thinker myself, I found the film’s take on religion filled with dark humour. From the insistent pharmacist to the relentless preaching of God’s existence from all the church goers in the movie, I wondered how would I feel if I was Shin-ae, is God really there or is He just a mere projection of everyone’s wishes and wants? The scene of Shin-ae’s turn of emotions when she realised that the murderer had already sought solace in God’s embrace when she was still struggling with the capacity to forgive with her new found faith was brilliant - Jeon Do-yeon’s expression illustrated the shattering of her faith, which pulled her into great depths of despair. She realised her sanctuary of thoughts, emotions, and feelings are wrecked, which made her face her agony truthfully.

The quotation I quoted above, from one of the interviews the director did, presented my take on religion aptly. I am a free thinker but I am not closed to religion, on the contrary, I trust that there is always something to take away from each religion’s teaching, and I believe in the capacity of life itself. When I was faced with grief and felt that I could no longer trust in the capability of myself, a dear friend of mine told me that I have to have faith, not in myself, but in something close to it – my ability to overcome hardships in life. These words stay with me, a dear reminder I keep in heart. My friend is a strong atheist, but like what the director said, even atheists believe in something, my friend’s faith in life’s capacity is alike to the ending scene of Secret Sunshine: Shine-ae trimming her locks and the hair flies to the soil, which is lighted up by the sunlight – there will always be loss and growth (her hair being a figurative metaphor, the tresses would always grow even after she cuts them) and there will always be rays of sunlight, no matter how dark life can get.

References:
CANNES JOURNAL - Festival Distinguished by Its Strong Actresses
Secret Sunshine
Cannes: 'Secret Sunshine', a mysterious journey of faith
Secret Sunshine – Review by Chris Cabin
The Five Stages of Grief